Reason #821 - Because when someone who lives in extreme privilege gets a milder sentence for a worse crime than someone who lives in extreme poverty (and actually shows remorse for their actions), you know that America is only as free as its most disadvantaged citizens.
Reason #781 - Because American news media knows what is really important for Americans to know about. And that’s important thing is one arbitrary millionaire family, not some stupid acidification of the dumb oceans that could kill us all.
Reason #317 - One in five Americans can’t find their own country on a map. Clearly it’s because we don’t have maps, according to South Carolina’s #1 professional bikini-wearer.
Reason #337 - Because if a woman is raped and impregnated and wants to terminate her pregnancy, she should really just trust this guy because he “hears things from doctors.”
Reason #338 - Because it’s common scientific knowledge that rapist sperm only reaches the victim’s egg if she’s being raped illegitimately.
Reason #339 - Because, despite the hard work of men like Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin (R), women still don’t realize that those who know how women’s body’s work best are white Republican male politicians.
Bobby Kendall in Pink Narcissus (1971)